a reflection on 2011

As I reflect back on the year of 2011 I am amazed at God's constant companionship throughout each month, day, and even at very specific moments.

The year started with uncertainty of my future but a desperate desire to no longer work at my job and truly seek after my vocation (thank-you Pepperdine). I was REJECTED, rejected from my very very first educational institution ever in January. I was frustrated, defeated, and irritated. January was the month of buckling down and trying again. My boss at the time was one of the most encouraging people in my life towards trying again  and wrote a very kind recommendation. My dearest kindred spirit had her heart broken in January. Both were tough, but not insurmountable. God is faithful.

February - me and my love turned another year older. I had to say good-bye to my co-worker TK as he moved on to greener pastures with Ivan & Alyosha. I vowed to not be far behind him in taking my leave from work (but not for a spot in any touring band).

March, April, May - The application process continued. I went salsa dancing for the first time. T$ and I bought a house (OK, a townhouse that's actually a condo). Also, somewhere in that time, I was accepted to SPU!!! Thank the Lord. God is faithful.

June - Most likely the most difficult month and time period I have experienced. Also the most beautiful if in our brokenness we lean on Christ. On days that I wanted to crawl into dark spaces and disappear, God remained by my side.  We were also given some wonderful memories in the month of June - a faraway Rhode Island wedding vacation and Shasta. God is so faithful.

July - Surgery to say goodbye to metal that was part of my life for 400ish days. Closed the chapter on the saga of 6.9.10.  July also saw me closing the chapter on my life at the Bone & Joint. A two-and-a-half year chapter on learning to grow thick skin, answer phone calls FAST, plan bomb potlucks, and spend 40 hours a week with some of the nicest people I am happy to know. Opened the chapter on what I like to call: grad school. God is faithful.

August, September - Grad school. Marriage. Homework (what the...). Continual healing of relationships, an engagement for my kindred spirit, and a lifesaving surgery for my cousin Tommy. Stay at home wife life launches with a memorable camping trip. Oh! And a very quick, lovely trip to Malibu to witness a dear friend marry her love. God is faithful.

October - An internship! An anniversary! The year of Cotton commences for me and T$. Two years of marriage. God is faithful.

November, December - Dark, rainy nights. Days filled with my internship. Evenings spent writing papers and blogs about how much I love teaching, reflecting, reworking, rewriting, rethinking. A very fun November weekend spent with our brother in Chicago.  Happy birth day Zelen! Evenings also spent in bible study with some dear friends - we are learning to be secure women who daily remember they are FILLED with Christ.

Thank you to the people in my little life in the year 2011. Thank you for the walks around Green Lake, the coffee dates, the time spent quietly knitting, traveling together, studying God's Word, crying, laughing, dancing together.

Thank you 2011 - I pray that I am a wiser woman who knows her full security, beauty, and peace comes from an all-wise God who holds her in His hand.

INDEED, GOD IS FAITHFUL. 

nostalgia

My technologically savvy brother Daniel has been updating all the home videos from VHS to digital this past week. These couple gems of my baby brothers makes me (1) excited to have my own little family someday (preferably with adventurous, silly kids) and (2) wish I could go back for just a couple days.

OK, Christmas can arrive....

because we finally have a finished, complete, mantle! I still remember when we first moved in back in April and I knew that T$ didn't like the mantle and it didn't really bother me one way or the other. I knew it would take a long time to make a new one so I insisted that I loved it and I didn't want him to touch a tile. I came home one day and it was GONE! Eight months later, we have a brand new mantle. And I must confess, it's 1,000,000x better than the original. Also, please appreciate that sports is on TV in nearly every photo where T$ is working. 

Here is the mantle's evolution....

The only original picture we have of the old mantle. 

Hiding all the cords behind the wall. 

Adding the drywall. 

MDF makes for some good mantle! And notice the stone laid down. 

Corbel's up!

The only part of the process I could help with: the painting.

Almost done!

Finished!!!!!!!!

time for the side table

Oh grad school. You've made me a bad blogger. Scratch that, you've made me a GREAT blogger, but just on a different site. Exciting...right? No? You don't like reading about classroom management and respecting student diversity? Sad. You're probably not a teacher (or a teacher in training). 

I have yet to update you lovely readers on our free side table (thank you Lauren)! Lauren called me up before my student teaching started on a free find from Craigslist. Even though I was still sipping my morning coffee and in my pajamas, I was dressed and ready to go 30 minutes later with her and Veronica. Drove down to West Seattle to check out the goods.  Here are pictures from our adventure...

The free goods. 

My accomplices

Choosing merchandise

Little Ronnie crammed into the back of the van with the goods. 

Official new home. 

my achy heart

I'm in a very nostalgic, Amelie-type mood. Remembering my happy childhood, time with brothers, parents, extended family.

This past week I honestly, dearly and truly missed my mom! She was only gone for 10 days, but it felt weird not being able to talk to her when I wanted. She was in Japan taking care of funeral details and saying good-bye to the mom that raised her for 11 years. So thankful she is home and that she had the chance to be a good daughter to her mama Ineko.

I'm in the mood for Thanksgiving (this year is a McDonald year). And a table FILLED with family: grandparents, parents, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles. And mashed potatoes, of course.

the year of cotton. or: a happy anniversary to us.

So thankful for 2 years with my wonderful T$ as husband and wife.

A very long quote from C.S. Lewis: What we call “being in love” is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for us … It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last; principles can last; habits can last, but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense—love as distinct from “being in love” is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both parties ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other, as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else. “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.^*

2 weeks worth of weekly gratitude

• Thank you Mammo for having the patience to give me my first sewing lesson. 

• Thank you for time with Nashee & Nick, Elle, and Tory. 
• Thank you for girls night with Jenzo, Em, and my favorite Indian beauty (aka Chinu). Knitting, "Father of the Bride", caramel popcorn, chocolate, lovely night. 
• I am sooo thankful and excited to be my kindred spirit's maid (technically - matron) of honor at her nuptials to her love!!!! Time to start brainstorming the Latin-infused bachelorette! 

• Thank you T$ for taking me to two sushi restaurants (we left the first one as soon as we realized it was no good). Here's our review: Dragonfish = yuck. Red Fin = yummy. 
• Thank you Carol Hopson. I like you. No. I love you. 
• Thank you Madeline for being the best at shooting engagement photos for my kindred spirit and her love. I even took a few myself! Here's a sneak peak of one I took: 

• Thank you for a student teaching interview! Who knows if I get it, but at least someone out there is giving me the opportunity to interview and I'm thankful. 
• Thank you Pinterest for keeping me company. You're addicting. 

london london london london london london london

Maybe it's the currently rainy weather, the season of September, but I cannot stop think of (a) traveling (b) London. Last Friday, T$ and I headed down to California to witness the marriage vows of Emory & Tory. Just as we were heading up the escalator towards "departures" at the airport I turned to T$ and said, "All of a sudden I had this feeling we were headed to London. And this is how happy I would be if that were true" as I tensed up my arms and shook with 5-year-old excitement. Not to say I didn't absolutely love seeing some of my dearest friends in the world (over a 48-hour period...wish it was longer). The wedding was intimate, heart-felt, and seemed so perfectly "Emory & Tory". I loved what Elle said, "Tory & Emory just make more sense together, than they do separate."

Mr. & Mrs. Emory Davis

My dear, wonderful, Pepperdine sisters (since 2006): Elle (or le-el), Nashee, Mrs. Davis, Dihei

Yet, while in the airport I realized the seemingly endless amount of possibilities of destinations (if you have the right number in your bank account of course).  And with the 48 hours of reunion behind us, I am still craving, missing London. The weekend with Nashee probably added fuel to my fire - we became soul sisters in London. One of our first traveling experiences together, to Paris, we decided to become sisters (Marie & Monique) and Amy D became our Mom and it has stuck ever since.  I wish I had more photos of the experience, but they are all stuck on "the beast" of a computer I used to own (12 pound "laptop")and my pile of photos in my "London box" - still haven't finished that scrapbook.  I stole the following photos from a very popular social networking site.  

No, this is not London (it's Paris), but I love it. And I hate pigeons. Gross. Oh, but I love Brigette. 

Walking home from equestrian class - saying hi to Peter

Hyde Park

Nashee Marie catching a leaf. 

Sister Nashee Marie, Mama, & me (Dihei Monique) on an autumn day in London.  

GRIFFIN!, Brigette, Nashee, Dihei - Abbey Road

Last night, I spent time looking up graduate "programmes" for T$ to take at the London School of Economics. He told me we have to have no school debts and I have to be done with school. So that's the new goal. Because I want to go back. And Sister Nashee Marie, mama Amy, and anyone else who knows the beauty of sunrises at Hyde Park, the quiet joy of sitting alone in Costa Coffee, the excitement in catching a play last minute for cheap (even if it means standing in the back), the rebellion when you pierce your nose (or get a tattoo...I didn't do that one) in Camden Town on a whim or  the peace of worshipping with other believers at Holy Trinity Brompton, you can visit us. I am determined. I may be wrong and we may grow grey together in lovely Seattle, but I would love another adventure and this one with my T$. 

"When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life." — Samuel Johnson

weekly gratitude

Thank you for our 2nd anniversary trip away. 

Thank you to the couple that got married at Alderbrook and had an amazing fireworks show right outside our window!

• Thank you Beth for your spicy oatmeal cookies. I may have been eating one everyday. It's OK. I promise. 

• Thank you for time with my pony sister and her fiance! I'm so happy you two have found love in each other. Can't wait for the wedding day in whatever beautiful, borrowed dress you find. :)

Thank you for the grey weather that doesn't make me feel as bad putting out the autumn decor.

Thank you Tory (& Emory)! So excited to witness your vows of marriage TOMORROW in CALIFORNIA! 48 hour vacation: here we come!

finished...for the season...

At this moment in time, I think our wall of photos won't change until after Thanksgiving. Still waiting on a frame for our photo strip (however...T$...if you read this...please make me a frame...).

Before the new photos. 

There she is! For now...

Upper left - that was my attempt at being crafty with burlap and an old card from Brigette (sorry to cut it up Brigette!)

We purchased the table at Ikea and just made a couple adjustments. 

Don't judge. Yes. I've started "decorating" for autumn.

it's the most wonderful time of the year

Listening to this...

Attempting to re-create this...

For this...

While drinking this (with a splash of milk)...

Yes, today I'm pretending autumn is here. The overcast and cool day has come to the aid of my imagination. 

i do not have a green thumb.

So, the reason why I never did a follow up on my vegetable garden is because NOTHING happened. What went wrong? I watered, they had sunshine. My thumb is not green. It's the black thumb of death apparently...

my "garden" as seen today. Sad. Boo. 

So, instead, today I bought some plants that someone else grew. Let's hope they at least stay alive for a week or so...

Sage. I KNOW. It's not very healthy looking, but it's ALIVE and I've had it for awhile.

Our purple and yellow pansies. Plus - some lettuce. 

They probably won't stay here, but TA-DA!

PLEASE. DON'T. DIE. THANKS. 

An early gift to us.

Happy early 2nd anniversary to us. Instead of waiting for October and SPU school to start up again, we are here now when I only have one school on my plate and no homework. As I sit here on this day bed, sipping weak coffee, and watching the sun rise over the Hood Canal (can you guess where we are now?) I feel thoughtful. I'm a wife! And have been for two years! To T$! A guy I've known since I was 15! How in the world did we slowly make these life decisions that brought us here? Although I am very thankful that we did, I sometimes laugh when I think of my reaction if someone would have told me at 15 that I already knew my husband. I would have probably turned red and clammy as I ventured to guess who he could be. Fast forward 10 years and I look forward every most mornings (i'm not perfect)at doing life by my sweet husband's side.

And it's because I'm not perfect that I need daily reminders from Christ as to where my hope, expectations, and security should lie. Hint: they do not go on T$'s shoulders. They belong to Christ alone. I know I have not always remembered that and through those times am disappointed that T$ doesn't live up to those expectations I have secretly set up. I want to have the heart of King David, "For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken." -Psalm 62:1-2. It's when I truly believe and live this that our marriage can truly thrive.

Happy early 2 years to an ever growing marriage. I am so blessed.

photo by Madeline Jacks

P.s. We're at Alderbrook. Thank you living social.

weekly gratitude

• Thank you UW for eeking out a win. I ALMOST had a grumpy husband. 
• Thank you for this beautiful summer sun. I have truly enjoyed soaking up the last bits of summer (and I am also very excited to welcome in autumn). 
• Thank you for quality time with my T$ and our borrowed kitten for the weekend. 

• Thank you for time with Madeline. A picnic on the beach. Not bad.
• Thank you for Elisabeth Elliott and her biblical wisdom. You should read her book Discipline. Although I am not finished with it yet, it's been convicting and wonderful so far. 

• Thank you for my mama and taking me under her wing at school. I had so much fun being in the classroom and accidentally being called "Miss McDonald" by the CUTEST 6th grader. I think I love middle school. 
• Thank you for the pumpkin spice latte. 

• Thank you Pioneer Woman. You always help me out in a pinch and you don't even know it (used this recipe yesterday for Mammo's birthday dinner).