Just found this unpublished and incomplete post. Felt like it needed to see the light of day. Who knew that a little hud my bud was growing inside and now he's a 2.5 year old boy I love oh so much.
Hello 2013! And hello jetlag. I've been up for the past hour or so despite having forced myself to stay up til midnight after flying home from London on minimal sleep. I'm sure I'll crash sometime later today... hopefully after the laundry is clean and 7th grade tests are graded.
2012. A year in which I will not soon forget. So. Much. Change. I don't always feel adequately prepared for it all.
January, February, March, April - Oh, to think back on my student teaching and grad school. Although only a year ago, it already seems like a foreign memory to work in someone else's classroom and learn to teach and grow and change. The forever dreaded Teacher Performance Assessment. It may sound weird, but I have almost no memories of actually writing and typing any of it up. I still have the files saved in my computer partially out of fear that I may need the 15 pages of single spaced text as proof someday.
Was it that terrible?
No.
Did I work hard?
Yes!
Am I glad I never have to do it again?
YES!
Thankfully I was blessed with so many people who helped come alongside me throughout the process. As I finished my student teaching (thank you ST), stepped into the role as long term sub (thank you KG), applied for jobs (thank you CB and TM), turned in my homework (mostly) on time (thank you, again, CB And TM), and stayed hydrated and nourished (thank you T$).
There are so many other small blessings that took place during these months. Spending time with my small group seniors at Suncadia. Watching my kindred spirit step nearer to marriage to her love. Turning another year older with T$ by my side and a quick and romantic trip up to Victoria, B.C. And the week of snow days! My first true snow days since my own school days!
May - My kindred spirit became a wife! There was much celebrating and feasting leading up to the date and the date itself. May also included countless job applications, a few interviews, yet no clear direction as to where I would end up.
June - Shasta. The Tourists. An epic skit (in my biased eyes). A lovely time spent with girls who grew up so fast and are now in the middle of their first year of college/adulthood. I feel honored to have played a part in their lives for four years. It's still strange and surreal that that season of life is over, that I have no obligation to be somewhere on Sunday mornings, Wednesday nights, random weekends. I pray that they continue to grow in strength and wisdom that can only come from Christ. That the Holy Spirit would convict, change, and mature the women I had the blessing to "lead."
Also while on the shores of Shasta, with my toes dipped into the water off the back of my houseboat I was offered a JOB! Middle school math. Really and truly? How would I ever teach math? What are middle schoolers like? What do you do with them? I didn't feel adequate to step into such a role. I still don't in many ways. But I trust that God is wise.
July - The pinnacle of all the months of the year. In the midst of homework and summer vacationing and thinking of the year ahead, T$ and I found out we would be welcoming a baby into our lives. I suddenly felt
completely inadequate to take on the new role as mother. Middle school teacher seemed like a serious enough task. But now...mother?! Are you sure?
And then, the first ultrasound came. And I instantly fell in love with the tiny life growing inside me. The tears overflowed with the overwhelming feeling of love. The little heart beating at only a few weeks. Quietly growing and developing.
No, I have no idea how life will change. But isn't that the beauty in it? To completely depend on Christ for wisdom rather than feeling like everything is in control? Even as I type this, baby H is kicking and squirming and rolling around. I still have no idea how life will change each day, but I welcome it.
August, September - I'm a real live teacher! Meetings and lesson planning and . September 5, 2012 - I met 150 6th and 7th graders.
October
November
December