Christmas dinner

I'm a terrible blogger.

It's been months and so much has changed and occurred in my little family, but it feels like there is no time to reflect and think about it all. Thankfully, T$ and I decided that one last baby-free vacation was in order. So we spent our Christmas holiday away from family and friends in a quaint little city I like to call London! Those pictures are coming at a later date...if I find time amongst taking down Christmas decorations and napping (3rd trimester...makes me sleepy!)

We are so blessed to live so close to both sides of our family and I know I will be even more thankful for their support when Baby H makes his arrival in March! Yet, in the meantime I was also craving simple and sweet time alone with T$. In fact, those 12 days were the longest time in the history of our relationship we were alone - just the two of us. I am so glad we did it.

Anyway, being away for the Christmas holiday didn't mean we were about to skimp out on the meal! Before we left for our trip I had done a little research and realized that EVERYTHING shuts down in London on Christmas day AND Boxing Day (the day after Christmas). I wasn't sure what we would do, how we would eat or where we would go. In comes Bev to save the day - a college friend who generously leant us the keys to her flat so that we would have a home to go to for those couple days. On Christmas Eve, T$ and I scoured the shelves of our local Sainsbury and Waitrose for the necessary ingredients to have a cozy Christmas meal together. Bev's kitchen supplied the necessary pots, pans, oven, sink, and dishes. We capped off our Christmas meal with reading about Christ's birth in Luke, playing a few hands of Cribbage, and watching "A Christmas Story" all in our pajamas.

Here is our tiny Christmas meal that I will always always cherish in my memory. And I was so glad that Baby H was there with us - celebrating the birth of Christ and the joy of being together with family. Even if we had left them far away in Seattle...for just this once...

morning playlist

T$ and I have different music tastes, it's true. Our middle ground seems to lie somewhere in country, worship, and some popular music. Marriage - it's all about teamwork and compromise.

Here is a sample of our typical morning playlist that helps us get ready and leave the house on time to our perspective occupations:

1. Mister Rogers Autotune Remix. Check it. Most favorite new song out there. Don't hurt my feelings by saying you don't like it. OK? OK.

2. Josh Turner  - thank you Mr. & Mrs. Wheaton for introducing this one to us. 

3. LeCrae (for T$)

4. Phil Wickham

And since I am currently longing for a banjo of my own and a long time appreciator of Nickel Creek (and Chris Thile and his mandolin) - I purchased his Punch Brothers album this morning and am currently soaking up all of that musical goodness while trying to wrap up my online class. Oh procrastination. You and I have been friends since the early 90's. 

oh, the past.

So I know that T$ and I were not the only ones watching The Bachelorette on this Monday night. Although I may be one of the few wives lucky enough to view the show in my cozy pajamas, homemade cherry crisp, and my love by my side (who in his defense spent most of the show perusing dream houses online). I almost gagged to death when that Ryan character read off his list of qualities he hopes to find in his dream wife. I don't think that the awkward soundtrack helped at all. And the even stranger camera angles. ANYWAY,  it reminded me that I was probably being a bit hypocritical towards the television as I recalled that I had at one point made a list like this.

I ran upstairs and dug out a journal from my pre-T$ days. I found my list tucked in between studying abroad in London and before I realized I loved T$. It was at a time when I was single. VERY single. Little did I know that my husband would be the next man I would date just a short seven months after the entry. Here's what I wrote...

May 22, 2006 - He is not too attractive, blue eyed, college grad, semi-fashionable, good with kids, drinker of coffee, childish, organized, Taco Bell eater, lover of travel, reader of good books, loves old jazz music. He plays basketball and gets things accomplished. He can find the Big Dipper. Always reading the Bible. He loves his parents and keeps his promises and has messy handwriting. He has a goofy sense of humor. He is quiet. A thinker. It's hard to get him to open up but when he speaks, people listen. Above all, he passionately desires Christ. He's quirky, imperfect. He works hard. He is not too sensitive. His yes = yes and his no = no but he'll compromise when necessary. And he found me in an unexpected way. Our romance is simple - focused on Christ and each other. He surprises me with vanilla lattes and studies with me. He isn't a science major. He likes to camp, hike, fish. He is the first to admit his mistakes and stands firm in his faith. God - help me to be worthy of him. 


I could not tell you where many of these qualities came from. I don't remember and I don't really care. Why did I feel compelled to write a list? Who knows. T$ may not fit the bill 100% with what my 20 year old heart thought it needed at the time. Blue eyes? I'll take his chocolate brown ones any day. And no, he doesn't drink coffee but that just means so much more to me when I hear the coffee grinder whirring away in the kitchen - knowing that his sole purpose in making coffee is for me.

The more important aspects I penned in my list - are T$ to a tee. And he can even find the Big Dipper.

Somewhere in the journal I also found a letter from my dear friend, Madeline:

March 2006 - You just need to wait to get into a guy until you know that it's something special and good. Not something "perfect", mind you but rather something that just fits YOU so well...you don't want to be away from it ever again. Where you feel your insecurities being fitted together with his imperfections and everything coming together...someone who has your humor to a tee. Someone that you can honestly say, "This is God's BEST for me..." It'll come dear, don't worry. 


Looking back, I don't remember being so worried about being alone. It's funny to me now. I wonder and hope that I did not miss out on too much of that year.

Thankful for T$.

Thankful for today.

Our life without pets, children, and the official end of grad school right around the corner. No teaching job (for me) and who knows if I will find one for the upcoming school year. For today, I will find comfort and peace knowing that God is present in this moment and already in the future, prepared for whatever may come our family's way.

Progress

I'm going to let you all in on a little secret about me and T$. We're NOT the world's most organized individuals and we're downright messy a lot of the time. Not dirty, just messy and cluttered.

I know, I know...what in the world?!

I'm sure your entire perspective of us has changed.

If your entire world just crumbled around you, I am sincerely sorry.

No, wait.

If you know us at all you probably already knew that secret. And you probably know that it's really not a secret.

But here's the real secret, T$ and I WISH we were more organized on a daily basis and are diligently working towards that goal. The first step on our organization journey was to purchase a home with room to grow (check) and the next step is to organize this new, wonderful abode to meet our organizational  needs. For me, an item has to have a home to live in for me to want to put it there.

Here is the story of the closet. Our previous home (a one bedroom apartment) may have been very tiny but it housed an extremely large walk-in closet in which I promptly shoved all of my clothes and shoes (and sometimes sacks of rice and potatoes) into. It was nice because I could shut the door and pretend like nothing behind the door existed except each morning and night when I wrestled with it to produce an outfit (or a cup of rice). Our new home has a much smaller closet, even though it's a much larger home. This has proved to be a challenge to my "style" of shoving everything behind closed doors so that it looks clean because now everything doesn't fit unless it's perfectly folded and put away.

The only before shot of the closet when we first moved in. All marriage counselors reading this...don't worry, the TV was only temporarily in the bedroom. It has since been relocated downstairs. 

Thankfully, T$ is far along on the path of organizational self-awareness and realized we needed a fix to our situation. We decided a change was needed. So I took all out clothes and dumped them into the library or on the bed to give my husband room to work (I'm a very helpful wife).

We had to sleep on our pull out couch a few nights as our bed was preoccupied. 

Library not being used as a library. 

Once the clothes were out of the way, T$ measured out and designed a new closet layout.

T$ - beholding his creation of plywood and nails and glue.

The drawers - eager to be filled with properly folded clothes. 

 He then carried it up the stairs and installed it with the help of Mr. Jefe Kaas.

I helped by purchasing these drawer organizers from Bed, Bath, and Beyond with my 20% off coupon in hand...

Our visiting kitten, Agnes, also did her best to pitch in and help...

It's still a work in progress (finished photo to come at a later date) but it's already improved the quality of our life together - no more fighting with the closet to come up with clothes to wear or where to find it. Our library is also looking forward to being utilized as a library once again. No Costco sized bags of rice here. 

Tea with T($)

I'll be perfectly honest. I love marriage. I love the companionship that I have found in my best friend. Through the good times and the bad I have been very blessed with a man who allows me to be the feminine wife. He may not always be the best at remembering traditional "wife" duties while I've been in grad school (like laundry folding and toilet cleaning) but I've also grown (MOSTLY) accustomed to the piles of clean clothes and cleaning the toilets myself when I have a free moment on the weekend.

Last weekend, T$ won "husband of the week" award when he sucked it up like a real man and booked us a couple's getaway to cute and romantic Victoria, B.C. It gave us a chance to do not a whole lot except read, shop, eat, eat, drink tea, watch movies, and discover a museum - all under the mild rays of sunshine. It was the perfect post-TPA, pre long term substitute teaching vacation I could ask for. The strangest part to our vacation was driving home to snow and getting stuck in our neighborhood...what the...?!

Looking out from the Royal BC Museum

All in all, I feel refreshed. And loved. And ready to finish up my student teaching with the enthusiasm that I started with.

P.S. One of the favorite quotes I read this weekend from Mindy Kaling's book, "C'Mon Married People...I don't want to hear the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame...I want to see you guys high-five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun. I want to hear about it because I know it's possible, and because I want it for myself...And I'm not saying that marriage should always be easy. But we seem to get so gloomily worked up about it these days. In the Shakespearean comedies, the wedding is the end, and there isn't much indication of what happily ever after will look like day to day. In real life, shouldn't a wedding be an awesome party you throw with your great pal, in the presence of a bunch your other friends? A great day, for sure, but not the beginning and certainly not the end of your friendship with a person you can't wait to talk about gardening with for the next forty years."

P.P.S. If I may add, that this is so much easier and possible with Christ and individual desires to serve Him and each other. That's all. The End.

a reflection on 2011

As I reflect back on the year of 2011 I am amazed at God's constant companionship throughout each month, day, and even at very specific moments.

The year started with uncertainty of my future but a desperate desire to no longer work at my job and truly seek after my vocation (thank-you Pepperdine). I was REJECTED, rejected from my very very first educational institution ever in January. I was frustrated, defeated, and irritated. January was the month of buckling down and trying again. My boss at the time was one of the most encouraging people in my life towards trying again  and wrote a very kind recommendation. My dearest kindred spirit had her heart broken in January. Both were tough, but not insurmountable. God is faithful.

February - me and my love turned another year older. I had to say good-bye to my co-worker TK as he moved on to greener pastures with Ivan & Alyosha. I vowed to not be far behind him in taking my leave from work (but not for a spot in any touring band).

March, April, May - The application process continued. I went salsa dancing for the first time. T$ and I bought a house (OK, a townhouse that's actually a condo). Also, somewhere in that time, I was accepted to SPU!!! Thank the Lord. God is faithful.

June - Most likely the most difficult month and time period I have experienced. Also the most beautiful if in our brokenness we lean on Christ. On days that I wanted to crawl into dark spaces and disappear, God remained by my side.  We were also given some wonderful memories in the month of June - a faraway Rhode Island wedding vacation and Shasta. God is so faithful.

July - Surgery to say goodbye to metal that was part of my life for 400ish days. Closed the chapter on the saga of 6.9.10.  July also saw me closing the chapter on my life at the Bone & Joint. A two-and-a-half year chapter on learning to grow thick skin, answer phone calls FAST, plan bomb potlucks, and spend 40 hours a week with some of the nicest people I am happy to know. Opened the chapter on what I like to call: grad school. God is faithful.

August, September - Grad school. Marriage. Homework (what the...). Continual healing of relationships, an engagement for my kindred spirit, and a lifesaving surgery for my cousin Tommy. Stay at home wife life launches with a memorable camping trip. Oh! And a very quick, lovely trip to Malibu to witness a dear friend marry her love. God is faithful.

October - An internship! An anniversary! The year of Cotton commences for me and T$. Two years of marriage. God is faithful.

November, December - Dark, rainy nights. Days filled with my internship. Evenings spent writing papers and blogs about how much I love teaching, reflecting, reworking, rewriting, rethinking. A very fun November weekend spent with our brother in Chicago.  Happy birth day Zelen! Evenings also spent in bible study with some dear friends - we are learning to be secure women who daily remember they are FILLED with Christ.

Thank you to the people in my little life in the year 2011. Thank you for the walks around Green Lake, the coffee dates, the time spent quietly knitting, traveling together, studying God's Word, crying, laughing, dancing together.

Thank you 2011 - I pray that I am a wiser woman who knows her full security, beauty, and peace comes from an all-wise God who holds her in His hand.

INDEED, GOD IS FAITHFUL. 

the year of cotton. or: a happy anniversary to us.

So thankful for 2 years with my wonderful T$ as husband and wife.

A very long quote from C.S. Lewis: What we call “being in love” is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for us … It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last; principles can last; habits can last, but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called “being in love” usually does not last. If the old fairy-tale ending “They lived happily ever after” is taken to mean “They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,” then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were. Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be “in love” need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense—love as distinct from “being in love” is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both parties ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other, as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be “in love” with someone else. “Being in love” first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.^*

An early gift to us.

Happy early 2nd anniversary to us. Instead of waiting for October and SPU school to start up again, we are here now when I only have one school on my plate and no homework. As I sit here on this day bed, sipping weak coffee, and watching the sun rise over the Hood Canal (can you guess where we are now?) I feel thoughtful. I'm a wife! And have been for two years! To T$! A guy I've known since I was 15! How in the world did we slowly make these life decisions that brought us here? Although I am very thankful that we did, I sometimes laugh when I think of my reaction if someone would have told me at 15 that I already knew my husband. I would have probably turned red and clammy as I ventured to guess who he could be. Fast forward 10 years and I look forward every most mornings (i'm not perfect)at doing life by my sweet husband's side.

And it's because I'm not perfect that I need daily reminders from Christ as to where my hope, expectations, and security should lie. Hint: they do not go on T$'s shoulders. They belong to Christ alone. I know I have not always remembered that and through those times am disappointed that T$ doesn't live up to those expectations I have secretly set up. I want to have the heart of King David, "For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken." -Psalm 62:1-2. It's when I truly believe and live this that our marriage can truly thrive.

Happy early 2 years to an ever growing marriage. I am so blessed.

photo by Madeline Jacks

P.s. We're at Alderbrook. Thank you living social.

itty bitty kitty

We spent the weekend kitty-sitting for some dear friends. Has it made T$ more open to the idea of adopting a kitten for our townhouse living? Only time will tell...

my favorite - Agnes on the hunt.

This song kept getting stuck in both our heads all weekend...

home again.

Twenty-one mosquito bites and 48 hours later, T$ and I are home again from having spent a wonderful, relaxing, picturesque weekend away with my favorite kindredest of spirits and her Mr. W.  I have some things to share later as far as cooking on a campfire goes (we feasted like royalty this weekend thanks to Mr. W's kitchen/camping tools), but for now here are just a few photos...

With my k.s. - Lake Kachess behind us. 

Our loves - Mr. W & T$

Lake Kachess

a full weekend

So, first thing's first, I can finally say in public that my kindred spirit is ENGAGED to her love! . Her future husband designed her ring on CAD and it is BEAUTIFUL. Their engagement story is even more romantic & beautiful. Way to go Mr. W!

And tonight (after nine long days) I finally get to be reunited with this face...

Until tonight I am creating a lesson plan in my parent's backyard with a puppy they're watching (Oakley) and brother Daniel keeping me company. All in all, an excellent Saturday & Sunday. Thank you Jesus for weekends.

weekly gratitude

OK. So earlier this week (or last week) I stumbled across this lovely blog: Love, Life, Lace and found that she has and encourages others to start a weekly entry in regards to gratitude. I think it's fitting that my very first entry as a "participant" is on Good Friday.

Church of the Holy Sepulchre - Jerusalem, Israel

• Thank you to Christ for your sacrifice of yourself, and your sacrifice of your perfect & eternal relationship with God as you bore my burdens on the cross.
• Thank you to T$ for working so hard on our new home.
• Thank you sunshine for showing us your face this week.
  

  

  doug bookman

• Thank you Bookman for visiting us Seattle folks! I'm in eager anticipation to hear what you have to teach us tonight from God's Word.
• Thank you Mom & Dad for providing T$ and I with most (if not all) of our dinners as we transition into a new home.
• Thank you Ivan & Alyosha for doing what you were created to do. I literally can't stop smiling thinking about last night's show. Your guys' joy is so obvious!

• Thank you tulips for staying in bloom! Cannot wait to see you in the droves next week with the dearest of friends.
• Thank you Christ for the ability to heal & for staying by my side June 9, 2010.

things i love about my husband part 3

1. When I woke up this morning, I found a sandwich waiting for me.
2. Because of him, my NCAA bracket is in a 4-way tie for 1st at work!!! 
3. He wears many hats in this world & at his 26th b-day party we got to celebrate that fact. .



Tyler in 20 years according to Jeff.

 



thank you Maddie for bringing your camera! and letting me test it out on your beautiful face :)





 



 



  







Eulabee! As "Baby T" if he were a stinking cute baby girl!



I'm just sad I didn't capture more of the outfits. Next time...



husband...

wife...

our day out.

I just realized the other day that every piece of furniture we own was either (1) made by T$ or (2) given to us for free (thank you Mundo, Kang, Hagens fam, Kaas tailored....) but now that we are THIS CLOSE to closing on our townhouse it's time to upgrade a few pieces. So over the weekend, T$ and I headed down to Southcenter to scope out the merchandise.

This is the man I love: Croc shoes, North Face fleece, #1 haircut, Mexican skin tone. This was our favorite chair, but since we couldn't decide where it should go we said "no thank you."



Imagine this couch in a different color...I think we have a winner for our new place!



I like...


I don't like.


Hi cute chair. Someday.



Now... if only they would give us the keys.

to have & to hold

a very very VERY small part of me wishes i wasn't married yet...

things I didn't know about my husband part 2

He won the American Legion award his senior year of high-school and didn't remember until last night when I finally noticed it up at his mom's place and asked her about it. He still doesn't really remember. His mom teared up at the significance of the medal (her dad had won the same medal when he was in school). So I guess I learned 2 things about my husband:

1. He's patriotic & wins awards about it.
2. He has a terrible memory.

husband

i learn new things about my husband every day. So far:

1. He was on SWIM TEAM his junior & senior year of high-school.
2. He is not very good at baking (although learning).
3. He loves pop tarts as much as I do. Every time we go to Costco, I look at the box with longing eyes and hopeful heart but never do I bring up the fact that I actually want to purchase the box since we are adults. And adults do not eat pop tarts. Last night was different. Last night the big beautiful box caught my husband's eye and into the shopping cart it went. This morning we shared a package. Thank you husband for letting your childlike heart shine through at Costco.